Saturday, September 10, 2011

signing off

I think this will be the last blog I write in this format. I guess I am just a little exhausted with sharing myself, opinions, and emotions with others, because no one really seems to care. I have spent a lot of my life considering others, trying to find right word, worrying about others, thinking of their feelings all to just get smacked in the face a lot of time when I need them the most. I used to think I was a person that was pretty transparent with my feelings, but I realize I hold a lot in. That is my fault and my issue. I read a status from a friend and it basically said stop playing the victim, there is responsibility in victimization. I was like wow, what a light bulb moment. This exhaustion I feel is self-imposed. The anger I feel is self-imposed, because I allow people to treat me certain ways. I am the queen of letting stuff burn and not saying anything. Well, I cant do that much longer. However, I am also a believer in words hurt, so you have to be careful what you say. At any rate, I am at a point in my life where I can only speak the truth. There so much energy that I need to pour in myself, that is where my focus needs to be. I am determined to get to a place where I am physically, mentally, and emotionally well. I wish you all the same......