I had to write this before I went to bed. I usually don't have this much to say (hahaha), but I guess tonight is one of those nights. Alot of things have been on my heart and my mind....the thing is the mind is a tricky thing. I even contemplated shutting this blog down, because my mind was asking, "what will people think?...Maybe you shouldn't have told people about something so personal...what are they saying about you?...are you sure you want to share this with facebook?...will people look at you differently?" The truth is I've hidden my RA for years because I felt ashamed, but then I thought what the hell am I ashamed about? I realized this is a trick of the mind or rather a trick of the Enemy. Today I experienced anxiety after going after an opportunity that may or may not come to pass. A little anxiety is normal, but it kept building and building! Trickery! I have friends (myself included!) who have fears about all kinds of things...especially matters of the heart. Trickery! The fear of failure can be so paralyzing that you don't even want to try to succeed. Trickery! Shame and fear are two of the biggest tricks of the Enemy.
I am a "facebook" head and I know people have their opinions about it. However, one thing I like about some of my fb buddies is their transparency. Along with the tv show commentaries, political statements, artistic posts, and tons and tons of pix, etc. You see peoples ups and downs. You see people who are accomplishing great things and people who rejoice in the simplest things in life. When I look at some of my "friends" it reminds me of something a friend of mine told me, when I was anxious and fearful about returning to graduate school. She said, "people who get through graduate school aren't smarter...they just work hard." In order to work hard at something you have to believe in yourself and not be afraid to fail. Isn't that the key to successful entrepreneurs? Now, I am not saying air all of your "business" to everyone, but never let fear or shame prevent you from giving your testimony. You never know how it might bless or encourage someone. The thing is this was never intended to be a RA blog or spiritual devotional. It was intended as a therapeutic journey for me and an expressive outlet, but as one of my girlfriends says, "let Him use you!"...so by any means necessary! So whatever your opinions are, good or bad, this is my story... my testimony...take it or leave it (but I hope it blesses you).
In the Bible, Satan is referred to as the "accuser". I think this is so powerful! He "accuses" us of many things...not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough...unloveable, depressed, lonely, shameful, fearful, and the ultimate accusation is that we cant be forgiven. Ha! Trickery! In the US Court system, we have the right to confront our accuser. In the spiritual realm, we have the POWER to confront our accuser....as for me "Not Guilty"!
Take Me As I Am MJB
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down." Revelation 12:10
Well said. I have learned over the years that not only are we our biggest obstacles to overcome but so is the pressure from our peers. That peer pressure can both help & hinder us. For instance, peer pressure can set the standard for the greatness that we aspire to achieve. It is also sets that glass ceiling that makes us afraid to stand out from others. Our self-images can be set so low that we settle for the norm or mediocrity. I say, "Mediocrity is the lowest goal I could ever set for myself." I have never been afraid to speak my mind, though I have learned to be more tactful as I've grown older and wiser. I teach my kids to always DO their best, not try, at everything they set their minds. If they do their best, then succeed or fall short, they have won. My sister who has RA is a personal hero to me because she hasn't let her condition contain her. Her journey to achieve her personal greatness should be a model for any young ladies that are truly willing to achieve their own personal greatness.
ReplyDeletethanks brother! You brought me to tears. I love you.
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