Who do you think you are??!?

 Lately, I have been baffled by men, well let's just say some men...and especially the experiences with men some of my friends and I have been having lately. I was in an angry place yesterday, but the one whom offended me did see themselves and offered some version of an apology. So thanks, but that ship has sailed buddy! Anywho...the worst part was not the offense but that I let someone's actions dictate my mood for the rest of the day. I hate that. I call these moments and people "time stealers". The thing about time is you can't get it back and the thing about "time stealers" is they usually don't give a  *&%$@ (as my momma would say "excuse my french" LOL). It's amazing to me how selfish and self-centered some people are...you can be in a "relationship" with a person for years and they will still look at you crazy when you have an expectation of them, or if they decide to explore their "options" they are quick to tell you that the two of you are not in a "relationship"...no matter that you supply the majority of their needs, physical, emotional, and otherwise (or so you think anyway)...no matter they have a key to your place, hang out with your family, say such special things to you, expect that you will be there for whatever and whenever...I mean these are all hypothetical of course!...at 36 years old no one is having a key to my place unless their name is on the lease or deed also LOL...but I digress.  I am talking about those things we do as women to say "I trust you" "I love you" "You can count/depend on me" "Choose me"...you feel me? From the simplest act of running an errand to the most cherished act of intimacy, alot of times we do these things for the wrong people and for the wrong reasons. Sometimes desperation, sometimes loneliness, sometimes hope, sometimes fear. Then Mr Time Stealer just skips off into the sunset, like they didn't do anything wrong. Or they reduce the relationship to a physical one. Or they manipulate you into staying into a situation only because it's comfortable not because they love and cherish you...or they play on your fears, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities, or the worst, they become apathetic..Before all the men starting biting their cheeks, this is not a male-bashing. This is just some commentary on some women's experiences with some men...NOT all men. I know some wonderful men who are wonderful fathers, husbands, boyfriends, brothers and uncles...so this is not about those men! This is about the "time stealers."  The one's that leave me thinking "who do you think you are?" Who do you think you are that you can't honor the one's who are responsible for bringing life into the world?...The one's who know how to literally make a "dollar outta 15 cents"...The one's who raised your children when you couldn't or wouldn't be there...the one's with "hips, lips, and fingertips"...No diss, the female species is a beautiful thing, but the Black woman...well I'll let you finish that statement...so as I said, "who do you think you are?"
....then I had a light bulb moment..."who do YOU think you are?" was the question that I had to pose to myself and a few of my friends. Who do you think you are?...someone not worthy of commitment? someone not worthy of an honest and respectful relationship? someone worth only a phone call at some strange hour to do "you know what", only to roll over and see the back of someone walking out your door? someone who doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone you love? someone who has to settle? someone that no one will love? someone who is not good enough? someone with a generational curse?...again these are all hypothetical, but you feel me?

I know who you are...I know who I am...I am God's perfect creation. I am a daughter, a sister, cousin, auntie, niece, granddaughter, friend, godmother. I am love and I am loved by many.  I am a descendant of great queens, I am the product of fierce people who stood and died for something so I could have a better, more equal and just life. I must honor that. We as women must honor that. I really believe once we honor ourselves, men will have no choice but to honor us too. I was always taught to embrace self-responsibility. I can only control my actions. When I say "I", I mean "we"...I mean "you"...so, for now I am single and that is cool...trust it gets difficult, but if the options are "all of the above"...I'll take "none of the above"...however, I remain hopeful. If you are a spiritual person, I am sure you get very upset whenever someone defiles anything of God, so why do we allow others to defile us...are we not, his "workmanship"?

So, I ask you again...who do you think you are?

A rose is still a rose, 
Baby, girl, your still a flower
He can't lead you and then take you
Make you and then break you
Darlin', you hold the power... L. Boogie/featuring Aretha Franklin


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  1John 4:18